Much Bettah

I had a nice date with my man last night! We went to see Sherlock Holmes. I imagine Russ would kick ass like that if he were so inclined; well, and not to old. We are looking forward to the time when we can have evenings to ourselves.

Dillan got his books and college supplies yesterday. It feels good to have him getting things going. I can't believe he is going to be the first Hays registered in college classes. Although Kayleigh and Brannon will get college credit for the environmental classes, so they count too! I am so proud of my kids.

I told Kayleigh the other day that I was proud of her choice in husband. Not only does Brannon fit in nicely with all our family, so does the rest of his family. His mother is very sweet and is brother Billy fits in with us and nicely as Brannon does. I am very content with my family life! Although I am getting older and ready to have an emptier house!

Melt Down

Despite my best effort to maintain peace of mind, I became particularly emotional on Sunday, to the point of a little mini-melt-down; tears and all. It was just too much.

The responsibility of three grown adults has been left to Russ and me. I know that it isn't going to last. Dillan starts college in February and Kayleigh and Brannon started their environmental hazard certificate class today. So things are happening and there is an end in sight. But occasionally the pressure of it all is difficult to handle.

I need some space to be alone and it isn't happening. I would prefer to have that time at home, but maybe I need to plan going out someplace. Russ and I could go to the beach and meditate. But right now it is effing cold! It was 23 degrees this morning. So I am not going to the beach anytime soon. Plus I am allowing smoking in the house because it is so cold. So the house smells of cigarettes, which I HATE! Maybe it is time for a change in order to maintain my peace of mind.

42 Months

Okay, so three and half years is a long time! But life is good.

I am totally in love with my hubby. I like both my kids and my son-in-law. All the kids start school soon. After having kids for most of our marriage, it would be nice to have time alone.

I have been spending time lately thinking about friendship. Since Andrea died two years ago I have been without my BFF. I miss having her in my life. I would like to have it again but I have such high expectations. I have to come to grips with the fact that no one will ever compare to our 30-year long friendship. I have not figured out why I need that in my life. I guess those are the things I need to work out first.

It's weird looking for a new relationship like this. I certainly wasn't thinking at 10-years-old that I was making a friend for life. It just happened that way. Now I am using logic and reason to select the proper friendship for my lifestyle. Is that even the right way to go about it? I do have several friends, but none are as close as Andrea and I were.

I am inclined to look for like-minded women, but Andrea and I were certainly not like-minded. She was an uber-christian and I am agnostic. She was much more conservative and I am extremely liberal. External appearance was very important to her and it is much less important to me. So obviously, like-mindedness is not the key. So what is?